Top 10 Reasons why New Orleans ain’t what it used to be

(Or, why the Big Easy is becoming Small and Difficult.)

10. No Times-Picayune. And don’t tell me that three-day-a-week thing is what I go to a daily newspaper for.

9. No streetcars? What’s up with that? How long have you been “working on the tracks?” Where are the pleasant undercurrent of vibration along St. Charles Avenue and Canal Street and the clicking crescendo of an approaching car?

8. The younger Newhouses’ spit in the eye to the proud journalism that their forebears nourished.

7. Hand-lettered “ON VAC” sign on the door of the tin soldier store in the French Quarter. (Otherwise known as the Sword & Pen, it’s a fantasy place of tightly packed, tiny antique tableaux of battles from the Bulge back to Thermopylae. Dark, moody, the anti-Big Box.) Hey guys, hire some holiday help.

6.  The Advocate. We love that you came to New Orleans; now put up some newspaper boxes so we can find you.

5.  No Sean Payton. No justice in the NFL.

4.  No beer with the oysters on the half-shell at Felix’s Oyster Bar. OK, I get it, there’s a “problem with the license.” Probably don’t want to know exactly what it is. And to her credit, the bartender did say I could “go next door and buy one and bring it back.” Still….

3.  No Times-Picayune.

2.  No Times-Picayune.

1.  No Times-Picayune.

One thought on “Top 10 Reasons why New Orleans ain’t what it used to be

  1. The thought of sitting it Felix’s and considering my Oyster options is so much more alluring than work. And the thought of a waitress telling me I can get a beer to go next door, and that’s a totally sensible solution to a fried food problem, makes me want to be there now.
    I’m worried when a fine institution has a mysterious lack of licensing, but otherwise it’s a testimony to the resiliance and logic, such as it is, of New Orleans.

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